The Quazer Beast was a mythical creature that was originally said to inhabit the Arctic Ocean.
This page contains material that is kept because it is considered humorous. Such material is not meant to be taken seriously. |
This page in a nutshell: Quazer Beasts are hoax articles about made-up creatures. The Society is dedicated to finding and preserving them on its talk page before their deletion, both for amusement and as a lighthearted incentive to stay vigilant against hoaxes |
Quazer Beast (квежер) | |
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Illustration of the Quazer Beast with a sperm whale bull for comparison | |
Scientific classification | |
Kingdom: | |
Phylum: | |
Class: | |
Order: | |
Family: | Mackensenidae |
Genus: | Quazer |
Species: | Q. yenisei |
Binomial name | |
Quazer yenisei Mackensen, 2005 | |
The Quazer beast is native to the Arctic Ocean. |
The legend of the Quazer Beast originates from the Enets people who live on the Yenisei River, which drains into the Arctic Ocean. According to the Tale, the Quazer Beast was a monstrous serpent, larger than any whale, with six eyes and two horns which protruded from the back of its head. It lived in the ocean and would guard the Yenisei River mouth, attacking and devouring anyone who ventured out too far. Although this legend was not widely believed, it was still prominent, often used as a warning to children who ventured out too far, and as an explanation for those who never returned from the sea.
The Society for the Preservation of the Quazer Beast is dedicated to the protection of the Quazer Beast and similar articles who find themselves at the mercy of article patrollers. Members pledge to go forth, find these articles, and see that justice is done to them. The Society also believes that the history of the Quazer Beast article serves as an object lesson in the perils of the Wiki model, as explained below.
The Quazer Beast was first sighted in the article space on October 3, 2005; like many articles on Wikipedia, it was created by an anonymous IP address. The original article [1] contained valid wiki-links, was written coherently, and possessed a certain charm. It did not, however, contain any citations of any kind. This is not uncommon on Wikipedia either. The next day, another IP added links to relevant lists of mythological creatures on Wikipedia [2]. On November 9, 2005, a bot came through and standardized the "See also" section of the article [3]. That same day, another anonymous IP address came through and vandalized the article [4]. This vandalism was reverted almost immediately by an established user. On December 28, the article received a belated (but still fitting) Christmas present: categorization and a spelling correction [5].
This is how matters stood until May 17, 2006, when Mackensen stumbled upon the article during random-article patrol. He was charmed by the story, but realized that he had to list it for deletion [6]. His nomination says it all:
“ | This seems a perfectly normal article, and I hesitate to disturb its existence. However, I fear that it might be a hoax, as it contains no references, and Google turns up no hits other than Wikipedia and its mirrors. Mackensen (talk) 18:38, 17 May 2006 (UTC) | ” |
The article went through the process of being deleted, and was eventually speedy deleted as a hoax. Roughly three weeks later, when Zoz was browsing his contributions to find a certain article he edited before, he noticed that the Quazer Beast link had mysteriously turned blue again. That ominous sign marked the return of the gruesome Quazer Beast to the article namespace. Knowing there was no time to lose, he took the initiative and listed it for a second AfD. This time, however, Mackensen acted swiftly to save the valiant Quazer Beast from deletion and moved the text into the Wikipedia namespace, where it now stands.
The Quazer Beast was a perfectly normal looking article. After its creation it was categorized, copy-edited, and linked to; it was even vandalized once. That's the standard life cycle for an article. Except that the Quazer Beast is a hoax, and it isn't the only one out there. This Society protects Quazer Beasts by identifying them early on and treating them in a humane fashion, before they are subject to the throes of Articles for Deletion. Realize too, that there are many non-hoax articles which look exactly like the Quazer Beast but are not the Beast itself. Without sources, however, every article can look like a Quazer Beast. It is important that we recognize what is a Quazer Beast and what is not.
Thus far 13 living Quazer Beasts have been found, with seven brought to the Society’s sanctuary and another six rediscovered in the Jack “Russer” Russel Memorial Nature Preserve. They are considered to be critically endangered and possibly extinct in the wild.
The seven Quazer Beasts at the sanctuary are:
The six Quazer Beasts in the JRMNP are:
There have existed multiple Quazer Beasts that were culled by WikiWildlife authorities before they could be taken to the sanctuary. Known examples include:
The following beasts are only known from a single mention on user:JohnCD/Hoaxes, so they cannot be described in detail or even verified to be beasts at all.
The equally elusive and mysterious WikiKraken may be a distant genetic relative of the Quazer Beast.
It is currently being researched whether the Bierrum Effect is somehow related to Quazer Beasts.
Bandicoda genrea is an extinct example of what might be termed a “Quazer plant”.
Canis lupis wikixplodepediaris (common name exploding dog) is a sort of pseudo-Quazer Beast, spawned from reckless template creation.
Members of the Society for the Preservation of the Quazer Beast pledge to verify articles when copy-editing them, checking the sources of articles they revert vandalism on, and bringing to the attention of the Society any Quazer Beasts found in the wild.
Members can identify themselves with the following userbox:
Code | Result | |||
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{{User:Dronebogus/Userboxes/QuazerBeast}} |
| Usage |
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